Fight or Flight

11.11.2008

Last night a friend and I were talking. He was turned inside and out and up and over and all around over a relationship of his that has recently come to an end. At one point he noted how joyful he had been just the previous day and yet now all of that joy was gone and he was left confused and feeling stupid and without hope.

This seems to be an all to regular cycle for my friend . . . and me. I get down and I'll ask God to get me out of it, but I have this aching feeling that my motifor "getting out of it" is not perfectly pure. Do I want to see the glory of God shown in my life that his name might be made much of by those around me? Yes, yes I do. But there is this other part that just "wants to not feel bad."

When that doubt about motivations comes upon me my response tends to be one of not going to him, because "I'm probably just trying to use him."

I popped over to desiring god and looked for some teaching I've read before and found it: How Shall We Fight for Joy? Point number four seemed to speak to this. I am wrestling with how to respond to the truth that within me there is a mixture of both Godly desire and fleshly lust.

The enemy, I believe, would like to tell me "Look you know your motivations for going to God for joy are tainted. In fact your main motivation probably isn't good. Asking God to make you happy for your own sake and not his is sinful. You should leave God out of it till you get that straight."

I know that's not true when I say it out loud, but in the midst of it it gets me. It has that partial truth: My desires are not completely pure. I was saved by his grace and so my only hope must be more of the same. With that in mind I plan on spending some time in Scripture and prayer asking God to lead me in "fight[ing] like a justified sinner."


How Shall We Fight for Joy?
By John Piper January 1, 1995

1. Realize that authentic joy in God is a gift.

2. Realize that joy must be fought for relentlessly.

3. Resolve to attack all known sin in your life.

4. Learn the secret of gutsy guilt - how to fight like a justified sinner.

5. Realize that the battle is primarily a fight to see God for who he is.

6. Meditate on the Word of God day and night.

7. Pray earnestly and continually for open heart-eyes and an inclination for God.

8. Learn to preach to yourself rather than listen to yourself.

9. Spend time with God-saturated people who help you see God and fight the fight.

10. Be patient in the night of God's seeming absence.

11. Get the rest and exercise proper diet that your body was designed by God to have.

12. Make a proper use of God's revelation in nature.

13. Read great books about God and biographies of great saints.

14. Do the hard and loving thing for the sake of others (witness and mercy).

15. Get a global vision for the cause of Christ and pour yourself out for the unreached.

Update!
Just found a book over at desiring god that I'll be checking out:

When the Darkness Will Not Lift
John Piper

Even the most faithful, focused Christians can encounter periods of depression and spiritual darkness when joy seems to stay just out of reach. It can happen because of sin, satanic assault, distressing circumstances, or hereditary and other physical causes.

This book, which is an expansion of a chapter in When I Don't Desire God, aims to give some comfort and guidance to those experiencing spiritual darkness.

Download this book (PDF).

Update 2!
"My friend" would like me to give him a nick name in the post. So how about we just say his name is . . . "James."